Turning Resistance into Reflection
Photo by: Linus Nylund on Unsplash
As a collective, we appear really resistant to change this week. I’m noticing a lot of people coming to a crossroads at which large-scale change seems to be inevitable, whether it’s in career, living situation, or relationships.
Letting go is an important part of change. When we release the attachments to an old job we allow the opportunities of a new career path to come forth. When we release connections with individuals who mistreat us, we create space for healthier people to step into our lives. As it turns out, there was also a full moon this week. In astrological lore, the full moon helps remind us to release that which no longer serves us.
Most people clearly do not feel ready for the changes that lie ahead. Only a few weeks ago, we seemed to be charging forth in our endeavors and this week it’s almost like we are defending preservation of the old ways. This makes sense. The part of our brain that activates at “things we like” is different than the part of the brain that activates at “things we want”. For example, I may want to start a daily yoga routine, but the “wanting” part of my brain isn’t the same as the “liking” part of my brain that will much more reliably drive me to pick up my phone, pick up sweets, or pick up the remote control. It’s really hard to make ourselves do the things we know will help us feel better in the long-term rather than move straight toward the things that will help us feel better in the short-term.
The tension that shows up between what we want to preserve in the short-term and change in the long-term is also creating tons of extra stress that appears to be manifesting in our bodies. Know anyone who has been sick lately? If you’re like most people, you either are sick or know someone who is sick. It’s a given that this is mostly because we’ve reached a new peak in the global pandemic. But research also shows us that stress contributes to suppression of the immune system. Which means double reasons to be aware of our default response to change.
So if we’re hitting this major roadblock of feeling resistant to change, building up stress, and getting sick, what can we do to change it?
We need to decide that the fear underlying our resistance to change is worth letting go of in order to progress. For example, I might have a fear of missing out when it comes to social media. I need to let go of that fear in order to limit my time online and create more space for a daily yoga practice. Social media is the thing my brain “likes” but yoga is the thing my brain “wants.” In a riskier context, maybe I fear moving away from home due to distance from my family, but I feel excited about landing in a big city. I need to let go of my fear that geographical distance means emotional distance in order to embrace the opportunities that might be offered in a different setting. Acknowledging those fears and embracing uncertainty is a hugely vulnerable decision, but it is within the vulnerability that we find our strength to move forward.
I pulled a tarot card when considering the energy that encompasses this week. The Hermit card showed up and reminded me of a few things. The Hermit reminds us of the power that comes from taking time to ourselves. Many people equate being alone with loneliness, but forget the deep thought and inspiration that are unique to time spent alone. This is how some of the best creative ideas come to fruition. Moreover, many of us have increased our isolation in response to Omicron. This is an opportunity to look deeply within before making big changes. It is okay, and encouraged, to honor that time. The strongest and most lasting change will usually come from a slow process that prioritizes thoughtful consideration. Lastly, if you look at the card, it looks like Dumbledore holding a lantern and reminds me of the quote:
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”
Our brains are wired to stay in the dark. To move toward the thing we “like”. To stay.
We must be conscious enough to turn on the light if we are ever to move forward.
So take the time you need to mull it over. Experience the grief you may feel at whatever loss a change might incur. Experience the giddiness at whatever exciting prospects may be coming your way. Be like the Hermit and allow yourself a retreat into both fear and intuition. Then give yourself permission to let go of the fears that are no longer serving you and trust your inner knowing to guide you forward.
This has been your reflection on the energy of the week. I am a licensed psychotherapist who likes science and spirituality. Tune in next week for new insights!