Coping with an Overwhelming Life

Photo Credit: Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash

Collectively, we all seem to be feeling a sense of overwhelm this week. Honestly, why wouldn’t we? The winter weather has been extreme in several parts of the United States including a massive blizzard and below freezing temperatures. We haven’t seen any relief from the Omicron variant. Additionally, most people are returning to work or school since the holiday break.

This wave of unfortunate events is doubly disappointing because we recently burst excitedly out of the gates for a new year with new projects. So many of us were ready for joy, but these adverse circumstances have layered quickly and our emotional responses have ranged between disappointment, frustration, and despair. We are exhausted of being exhausted. Exhausted of learning to adjust to COVID (again).

Meditation expert, Jon Kabat Zinn, says, "Overwhelm means life is unfolding at a rate that neither my psyche or my nervous system can handle.”

When we feel overwhelmed, the reality in front of us seems incomprehensible when compared with our expectations. So what are some ways we can cope?

1. Acknowledge that this overwhelm is not just in your head. The circumstances we are living under are (still) unheard of. Kids are going to school when 1/3 of their classmates are out due to Omicron, as are many teachers. The labor shortage means that people in the labor force have the same responsibility to produce work as before with even less support. The cost of living is skyrocketing from inflation, and yet, somehow, the richest Americans have become 40% richer during the pandemic.

Basically, we aren’t going to journal our way out of these extreme circumstances. At least that’s not the only thing. The first thing is to find some radical acceptance of what is happening. Mourn, grieve, commiserate. Do whatever you need to do to accept the situation and all of your emotions without judgment. You’ve earned it just by existing in this unfair, rotting, dumpster fire of the last few years. Radical acceptance allows us to take a step back and assess our situation with a clearer mind and gives us the liberation to choose how we spend our time.

2. Once we have radically accepted that this unprecedented time is truly an out-of-our-control living nightmare... then we need self-care.

Ah, self-care, the pop psychology buzzword that floods our social media feeds and always seems just a little too inconvenient. Like a cat who wants to be pet, but sits just further than your hand can reach.

But hang on, I’m not just going to tell you to meditate. I’m here to tell you why you should journal and meditate and go on walks and decorate your office and bake your favorite dessert and do the laundry, etc.

Because when we are so inundated by long-term, high intensity stress we need something that brings us back to the here and now. Study after study shows that mindfulness is highly effective at reducing stress. This isn’t about doing yoga. In fact, doing yoga isn’t even about doing yoga. It’s about carving out a single fucking moment to take a deep breath in a long series of moments in which we most definitely are not taking deep breaths. Maybe yoga isn’t where you find your deep breath. Maybe you breathe easier when you:

·      Decorate

·      Do laundry

·      Sweep or vaccuum

·      Paint your nails

·      Walk outside

·      Go to the gym

·      Bake/Cook a favorite recipe

·      Go shopping

·      Read a book

·      Take a nap

·      Go to the beach

·      Do a puzzle

·      Craft

·      Garden

·      Play a sport

·      Pet your dog or cat

·      Go fishing

·      Light a candle

·      Meditate

·      Journal

·      Paint, draw, sculpt

·      Have sex

·      Talk to your therapist

·      Call your loved ones

·      Drink water

·      Go to a library or bookstore

·      Watch a movie

·      Sing or play music

The point isn’t to distract from the moment, but to give ourselves a moment of peace in this very chaotic life we’re all living. No one is going to knock at our doors bearing the gift of time dedicated to nurturing ourselves. The systems we live in aren’t built to support us in this way, so at some point, we have to take matters into our own hands. We have to decide to take this time in order to protect our peace. What are some things on this list that appeal to you? What are some pleasurable activities outside of this list that you enjoy? Experiment this week and share your experience in the comments below! Read more self-care tips in my blog post: What Is Self-Care, Really?

This has been your reflection on the energy of the week. I am a licensed psychotherapist who likes science and spirituality. Tune in next week for new insights!