The Most Common Frustration I Hear From People Starting Therapy For Help With Narcissists

“I couldn’t believe it when I realized my father was a narcissist.”

“It was just so crazy how everything I was reading was lining up with everything I’ve witnessed.”

“I used to think narcissists were all malignant, self-obsessed, lying assholes but I guess they’re not all like that?”

I hear these sentiments at each initial consultation as I sit at my desk, nodding, thinking to myself, “Welcome to the starting line.” I feel infinite empathy for the people who get to this point because it means they’ve undoubtedly experienced terrible abuse to be sitting in front of me. I also feel so much hope for these individuals because the hardest thing in the world is realizing that this is real. That the pain and trauma they experienced happened. And that the people who told them they were being too sensitive were wrong.

Our communities so often want us to prioritize relationships over the truth. We often want that for ourselves. (Especially my fellow people-pleasers out there!) We convince ourselves that it would be easier to remain in a hard relationship than to be single again. That it would be too much for the narcissist to handle if we were to leave. That it would be easier to bury the things that happened than to “rock the boat”. Hell, our brains are physically wired to erase the bad things that happened - ever draw a blank when a loved one asked you to explain what happened? The cards are stacked against us when it comes to figuring out what this narcissism thing is in the first place.

That is why I find myself often asking clients, “But what happens if you don’t name it? What bad things happen if you keep going the way you have been?”

“I will continue to lose years of my life to this relationship.”

“She will continue to tear me down, she might even get worse.”

“I’ll keep losing friends and family because I keep defending this relationship.”

There are countless reasons. It’s up to you. Are you ready to make the change? Are you not ready, but you want to figure out how to make the change regardless? I work with smart, motivated people working to heal from these traumatic relationships every day. I am passionate about helping my clients understand narcissism and take their lives back. If you are in need of help, please reach out for a free consultation!