What To Look For in a Therapist
Photo Credit: Haley Powers on Unsplash
When seeking a therapist, there a quite a few things to consider that will make the experience beneficial to you. The logistical aspects of scheduling, location, and payments will be important to nail down before you begin sessions. There are also factors referred to as “goodness-of-fit” which have more to do with the personal relationship between you and the therapist. This article is here to help guide you in the decision making process that will make your sessions positive and meaningful.
Scheduling
Therapists often carve out blocks of time for seeing clients. Make sure that you and your therapist have scheduled a time that you can agree upon meeting each week. If your first choice isn’t available, don’t be shy in asking what else might work!
Payment
Many therapists take insurance. If you need to use your insurance, I would highly recommend searching for therapists through your insurance website. Often, insurance companies have lists of providers online, and it is the most efficient way of ensuring your therapist can take your insurance.
Some therapists are out-of-network, which means they will provide you a bill to send to your insurance company. The insurance company will then reimburse you the payments for the sessions. (Note: Insurance will only reimburse you after you’ve met your deductible.)
Other therapists do not take insurance, which is often called out-of-pocket. Always ask if the therapist offers a sliding scale, which is a hierarchy of fees based on the client’s income. If you have more insurance questions, I highly recommend this helpful blog.
Location
The closer the better. Consider if you are the type of person who will resent going to therapy if you have to commute an hour to and from the office. If you are interested in video chat, ask if your therapist offers online services! One silver lining of COVID-19 has been that most therapists have adapted to video chat sessions, which makes therapy more accessible for many clients.
Empathy and Compassionate Listening
Your therapist should be a good listener who holds space for you to express your thoughts and feelings. This is a time for you to work through the struggles in your life that cause distress or pain. If you feel as though you are being judged or the therapist is not listening to you, tell your therapist how you feel. If the behavior does not stop, find another therapist.
Someone Who Challenges You
A good therapist will not only allow space for you to reflect, but also challenge any beliefs that are not serving you. If an individual in my office says, “I always feel lonely, but I guess I’m just a loner,” then you can bet your bottom dollar my response will be “Let’s unpack that.” Therapists should not only be creating an affirming space but also a safe space to poke holes in the unhelpful story you may be telling yourself.
Cultural Competence
Finally, your therapist should be culturally competent, meaning that they should fully see you within the context of your cultural background. They should be accepting and respectful of the worldview you bring to the table which is shaped and influenced by your cultural and ethnic identity. If you’re worried it’s too much to ask this of your therapist, my friend “The Curly Therapist” says:
“You’re not asking too much, that should be the standard.”
Shared Experience
Lastly, it is totally okay if you want a therapist whose identity is similar to your own. Your therapist might be culturally competent, but if you both have shared cultural experiences, then you will likely feel even more understood. Often, the knowledge that the person sitting across from you has been through the same experiences is comforting in itself, and it’s completely valid to want that in a therapist. Even if those experiences are not culturally-related, it can be helpful! For example, there are many creative experiences I share with the individuals I serve and it can make the connection that much stronger.
If you could have the ideal therapist, they would be absolutely golden in all of these areas. However, as therapists are human too, we will likely come up short in some ways. My suggestion is to choose your top 3 “non-negotiable” priorities from this list and decide from there who will be your therapist. If you understand and communicate what is important to you, it will make the process of finding the right therapist quicker and easier!
Did this blog fix all your problems? Darn. Let’s talk! I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice and would love to meet you for a free 30 minute consultation.