Red Flags of Early Dating
Photo By: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Let’s face it, most of the time dating is a messy and confusing thing for everyone involved. Communicating on a regular basis with our loved ones can be hard enough. In a dating context, we are learning how to speak with an entirely new human being.
So there’s a lot to feel concerned about, right? We don’t want to waste someone else’s time and we certainly don’t want our time to be wasted. Let’s talk about some of the red flags of early dating.
1. How They Speak To You: If the person you’re going out with makes rude comments or calls you names, these are immediate signs that the person lacks basic courtesy. This also applies to a lack of communication. If the person is generally unresponsive or only reaches out when they want something, these behaviors indicate selfishness.
2. How They Behave Around You: Actions speak louder than words. The way a person behaves around you during a first impression says a lot about how they may behave in the future. For example, if your date is flirting with others or only showing affection in private, it is likely that they are not invested in dating you.
3. How They Treat Other People: This is the least obvious of the three because we are often so focused on how our date is treating us, that we don’t focus on other people. It’s important to notice how your date treats both strangers and their loved ones. If they treat a server poorly, that’s a big red flag because they can’t show basic human kindness to someone who is literally there to service them. If they speak resentfully about their loved ones, this is alarming as well because it is talking behind someone’s back. Meaning, it’s fairly safe to assume, if you continue dating, this person will soon be talking behind your back.
It is okay to notice these types of signs within the first few dates and decide the person is not right for you. Many people, especially empaths, want to see the best in others. It’s very human to want to give a second (third, or fourth) chance or not reject someone because they are a good person at heart.
Just because someone is a good person at heart does not mean you have to subject yourself to their shitty behavior.
Dating is for you. You deserve to be dating someone who can show you respect. Whoever that person is should be able to speak to you and treat you with kindness. Give yourself permission to let go of people who mistreat you and receive the people who can love you.
What was your worst dating experience and how did you let that person go? Let us know in the comments!
This has been your reflection on the energy of the week. I am a licensed psychotherapist who likes science and spirituality. Tune in next week for new insights!